But more than that, work is like a mental tick that I sometimes indulge in. It's an autistic fugue. You go into this hole where all you can think about is technical issues, and it's horrible, but it also sort of feels good. Like taking a poo, or playing with a loose tooth. Then when I get into this state I just can't stop. I try to relax with N, but all I can think about is spu_shufb and should I be using _align_hint ? And does DMA invalid ll-sc reservations? And I have to go back to work.
I imagine it's a bit like having OCD. It's not like the OCD guy really wants to count the lines in the wood grain. But if he walks into the room and doesn't count them, it just eats at his brain - "must count wood grain" - repeating over and over. It's not like working really makes me happy; after a day of solid work I don't feel good, in fact quite the opposite, my brain feel fried from fatigue, and my body is in great pain from sitting too much, but I can't resist it, and if I don't work I just keep thinking "work work work".