I want to write about the wonderful experience of having a home birth (see *2), but don't want to intrude on Tasha's privacy. Suffice it to say it was really good, so good to be home and have everything at hand to make Tasha comfortable, and then be able to take baby in our arms and settle into bed right away. We spent the first 36 hours after birth all in bed together and I think that time was really important.
I've always wanted to have kids, but I'm (mostly) glad that I waited this long. For one thing Tasha is a wonderful mom and I'm glad I found her. But also, I realize now that I wasn't ready in my twenties. I've changed a lot in the last five years and I'm a much better person now. I've learned important lessons that are helping me a lot in this challenging time, like to do hard work correctly you have to not only complete the task but also keep a good attitude and be nice to the people around you while you do it. And that when you are tired and hungry is when you can really show your character; anyone can have a good attitude when they're fresh, but if you get nasty when the going gets tough then you are nasty. etc. standard cbloom slowly figures out things that most people learned in their teens.
Now for some old-style ranting.
1. "We had a baby". No you fucking did not. Your wife had a baby. If you were a really good husband, you held her hand and got her snacks. She squeezed a watermelon out of her vagina. You do not get to take any credit for that act, it was all her. It's a bit like Steve Jobs saying "we invented" anything; no you did not you fucking credit-stealing douchebag, your company didn't even invent it, much less you.
(tangent : I can't stand the political correctness in sport post-game interviews these days; they're all so sanitized and formulaic. They must go to interview coaching classes or something because everyone says exactly the same things. Of course it's not the athlete's fault, they would love to have emotional honest outbursts, it's the god damn stupid public who throw a coniption if anybody says anything remotely true. In particular this post reminds me of how athletes always immediately go "it wasn't just me, it was the team"; no it was not, Kobe, you just had an 80 point game, it was all fucking you, don't give me this bullshit credit to the team stuff. Be a man and say "*I* won this game".)
2. People are busy-body dicks. When we would tell acquaintances about our plans to have a home birth, a good 25% would feel like they had to tell us what a bad idea that was and nag us about the dangers of childbirth. Shut the fuck up you stupid asshole. First of all, don't you think that maybe we've researched that more than you before making our decision, so you don't know WTF you're talking about? Second of all, we're not going to change our mind because of your nagging, so all you're doing is being nasty about something you're not going to change. We didn't ask for your opinion, you can just stay the hell out of it. (The doctors that we would occasionally see for tests were often negative and naggy as well, which only made us more confident in our choice).
It's a bit like if a friend tells you they're marrying someone and you go "her?". Even if the marriage is a questionable choice, they're not going to stop it due to your misgivings, so all you're doing is adding some unpleasantness to their experience.
You always run into these idiots when you do software reviews or brainstorming sessions. You'll call a meeting to discuss revisions to the boss fight sequence, and some asshole will always chime in with "I really think the whole idea of boss fights sucks and we should start over". Umm, great, thanks, very helpful. We're not going to tear up the whole design of the game a few months from shipping, so maybe you could stick to the topic at hand and get some kind of clue about what things are reasonable to change and which need to be taken as a given and worked within as constraints.
Like when I'd ask for reviews of Oodle, a few of the respondents would give me something awesomely unhelpful like "I don't like the entire style of the API, and I'd throw it out and do a new one" , or "actually I think a paging + data compression library is a bad idea and I'd just start over on something else". Great, thanks; I might agree with you but obviously you must know that that is not going to happen and it's not what I was asking for, so if you don't want to say anything helpful then just say "no".
ADDENDUM : a few notes on home birth and midwives.
Even if you are planning to do home birth (without a doctor present), you should get an OB and do a prenatal visit with them to "establish care". That way you are officially their patient, even if you don't see them again. In the US health care system, if you do wind up having a problem, or even just a question, and you have not "established care" with a certain practice, you are just fucked. You would wind up at the ER and that's never good.
While the midwives seemed reasonably competent at popping out a healthy baby from a healthy mother with no complications, I certainly would not do it if there were any major risk factors. They also are less than thorough at the prenatal and postnatal exams, so it's probably worth seeing a regular doc for those at least once (probably only once).