3/10/2012

03-10-12 - GDC Stereotypes

Thanks to everyone I know who's stopped by, you've been a nice break from the usual cast of characters I get :

1. The student. Walks around with a glazed look on their eyes. Okay, students are young and I don't expect them to be experts, but my god they just seem so dumb. I thought kids were supposed to be really precocious about computers these days? What exactly are they teaching them in these programs? They also seem so incredibly young and childish; are these kids not college graduates?

2. The card-taker. These people may annoy me the most. They come up and rifle through the business cards. Some just take one of each, others dig through looking for something specific. If you ask them what they want they say "nothing" or "just taking some cards". Why?!? Arg put my card down you spammer. Even more boggling are the guys who actually take the information handouts about the products, but won't talk to you. Do you have any questions? Are you interested in the products? No? Then why the fuck are you taking the info sheets !? It's like they have this idea that it's a "successful GDC" if they come home with a big stack of papers and cards.

3. The competitor. We quite frequently get competitors who come over and pretend to be customers. They sort of act like a normal interested customer at first, just asking generic questions, but then the questions start getting more and more detailed and they're obviously trying to dig into implementation details, and we're like hmmm wait a minute "who do you work for?" oh, shit. I actually don't mind talking to competitors, but FUCK YOU just tell me the truth up front and I will be happy to talk to you, don't pretend to be a customer, and especially don't play dumb and make me explain a bunch of basics that you already know.

4. The expert. Every so often you get an "expert" who wants to educate you about your product. Oh really we should be using slerp for our animations because that's the "correct" way to interpolate splines? Oh really I should be using JPEG2000 for my texture compression? Well, thanks for the tip cock-hole, now go away and get some fucking humility you retard. I told some guy that we're better than Zip in most ways and a better balance for games and he was like "I dunno, Zip is pretty much the sweet spot"; oh, okay, I haven't like run that analysis and carefully studied it a hundred times or anything, thanks for telling me.

5. The curious. "Oh, I'm actually a musician, I was just reading your product info because I'm curious". Okey doke, fine, but REALLY ? This is the interesting thing to you? Our janky ass boring demos? There are fucking games and crazy graphics demos all over the place, and you choose this to stop and look at for five minutes? Why !? A lot of people stop and look for a second and move on, okay, that's fine, that's a normal rational response. But these people I just want to ask Why (actually I did ask a few why, and it's very disappointing they just hem and haw and shuffle away).

6. The humble. "The humble" is like when the CTO of EA walks up to the booth and just acts like a normal goofy question asker. They don't really give off great vibes of competence or importance, but god dammit, you are fucking important, let me know who you are! You can just say "hi, I'm important" , or like wear a special hat or something. Humility is terrible. The same thing happens with programmers who actually know their shit, you just say "hey I'm a real programmer, I know my shit" and then I will talk to you at a higher level and we'll both be happier.


After the show was over I went to the crazy-overpriced Italian deli near Moscone (which is not bad BTW, maybe the best quick food option near there), and the obvious was rubbed in my face. The weirdos who come to the booth are just the same weirdos that go anywhere.

I've never had a service job, waiting tables or whatever, my first job ever was software. When people come up to the booth and I step up and say "do you have any questions about RAD products?" it's almost exactly the same as if I was saying "welcome to Bennigan's, can I get you some drinks?". You have no idea if the people are cool or what, but most of the time they are fucking weirdos.

At the deli while I was sitting eating my sandwich, I kept seeing people who would walk in and look intently at the deli counter, and the nice guy behind the counter would be like "can I get you anything?" and the person would just be totally silent, then walk out weirdly without saying anything.

2 comments:

MH said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
MH said...

Damn, I just wanted to edit my comment.

Anyway, I played a new game this year. For each person I looked at, I would guess their closest looking celebrity.

There were lots of Kevin Smiths.

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