10/17/2011

10-17-11 - Sensor Dry

Do the laundry manufacturers of the world really believe that "slightly damp" is the correct amount of dryness?

So far as I can tell all the fancy "Energy Star" low-energy dryers just work by NOT FUCKING DRYING. Oh, big woop you saved energy because you just fucking didn't heat up the clothes. I can make a dryer from 1960 use zero watts if I'm allowed to not actually dry the clothes.

It's so disrespectful. It treats me, the user of the device, like a fucking piece of shit. I told you to do something, but who the fuck am I? Just some moron consumer. I'm sure the engineers know what I want better than I do, so they'll detect that the clothes are dry and stop the machine. NO! I didn't fucking tell you to stop it, so don't stop it.

My range hood has a similar thing; a "heat sensor" feature which automatically detects a certain temperature and kicks it on high. FUCK YOU. You will run when I tell you to run, you bitch. If I want to boil a pot of water and leave it on the stove and not run the hood then I fucking get to, it's my god damn house. What a fucking cock sucking feature. And of course none of these things can be turned off.

All modern cars are essentially the same way. You wanted to do an abrupt engine brake to get some off-throttle oversteer? Nope, sorry, that throttle release is low-passed. You want to abruptly jump on the throttle to speed away? Nope, sorry, the ingition timing was advanced to save fuel. You wanted to get the weight unbalanced side to side to initiate a flick? Nope, sorry, the magnetic suspension detected the sway and adjusted to stop it. We (the engineers, the ECU, the manufacturer) know better than you. You don't get the freedom to do what you want with your own tools.

Of course they're right most of the time. People are morons. But we should be allowed to be morons. I hate this shit.

It's an unfortunate truth that any time you get software involved, things become shit.

Part of the problem, I believe, is that software allows products to be designed by the marketers.

When products were designed by engineers and scientists, and had to be pressed out of metal, and some big custom machine had to be made to do the pressing, there was a long turn around time, and they just tried to design it to work as well as it could. Some marketer could come in and say "can we make it automatically turn off after 10 minutes?" and the engineer would say "well, that would require this extra part, and it would take 6 months to change the machines, ..." so it wouldn't get done. You couldn't risk chasing the latest trend because by the time your products got through the cycle the trend would be different.

Software is just too easy to change. And programmers are cheap and easy to replace, and have no personal ethics about the code they're writing anyway.

So some moron Producer/Marketer can call a meeting at the last minute and say "what if we add vending machines that sell Sobe drink powerups?" or "what if we sell hats?" , the engineer says "yeah, umm, I guess we could do that, I don't really think it's a good idea..." but it's not your job to have ideas, just go write the code.

1 comment:

IvyMike said...

The dryer I used let me override the "sensor dry" thingy. But I rarely did, since leaving a tiny amount of dampness in the clothes and allowing them to air dry to completion is much easier on the fabric.

Then again, I live in southern California which is basically a desert, and clothes dry almost instantly. I take it you live near Seattle, which being from SoCal, I presume is a cross between a whaling village and Jurassic-era rain forest. In that climate I assume clothes, once removed from the dryer, immediately start to absorb humidity until they triple in weight.

old rants