04-14-10 - Apples

I can't eat an apple without almost choking. There's always a moment after I've eaten about half the apple where the back-log of unchewed bits hits critical blockage volume in my throat; I struggle to force it down with hard swallowing, and then panic and try to find water quickly. An apple without a glass of water is almost a booby trap, if someone hands you an apple they might be trying to kill you.

One of the great mysteries of living in Seattle is that it is fucking impossible to find a decent apple up here. The apples in grocery stores here are uniformly disgusting - mealy, mushy, old, often with brown soft spots. The exact same chain stores carry the exact same apples in California and they are fresh and crisp and delightful. Now, you snobavores might suggest I get my apples at a local farmer's market. Sadly, the snobosphere has ruined farmers markets for apples. It's no long cool enough to just get a nice farmer-grown Fuji or Gala or some shit, so they no longer sell those proper apples, it's all "heritage varietals".

Heritage apples are fucking inedible. They're astringent, dry, pastey. It's almost like taking a bite out of a raw potato, which I just realized is probably where "pomme de terre" came from. In French class people would always be like "apple of the earth? WTF are those Frenchies thinking, potatos and apples are nothing alike" , but in fact old apples from before the bitterness was bred out and the sugar was bred up were like potatos!

1 comment:

castano said...

While apples are only harvested in Autumn, they are available during the whole year thanks to the use of refrigeration and chemicals. However, if the apple is organic, chemicals cannot be used and the resulting quality is generally much lower. There are some newer treatments that preserve taste better, but texture is never as good.

Personally I don't see the point of eating apples all year around. Apples are best when purchased in season.

old rants