2. "Your friends will ask why you didn't get a 911." Fuck your friends, they're retarded. Ask them why they got whatever horrible car they got.
3. "The engine is too quiet". WTF, you're a moron, if anything it's too loud. And if you really want that it's pretty trivial to put an exhaust kit on. And Porsche engine do not sound good, I'm not sure why you want to hear more rattle and clatter.
4. "It's too easy to drive, it's not quirky enough, it's too perfect". I guarantee that the people saying this are not hitting apexes and powering out of corners correctly. You do not have the driving skill to claim that a Cayman is "too easy" , and of course real drivers like Tiff would never say nonsense like this.
5. "It was designed without soul to fit a niche below the 911". Mmm I don't think so. There is one little niggle which was not offering an LSD, but other than that I think it's actually the purest driving machine that was designed for joy in the twisties without compromise.
6. "It could've beat the 911 in the Nurburging time with a few mods ; the 0-60 is too slow ; etc. " ; who fucking cares, you're not an elite racer; does it feel good? does it feel fast? who fucking cares if the time around some track is 1:34 or 1:36 ; only juveniles care if their car can beat a Mustang in a drag race or some ranking or whatever nonsense it is juveniles and fat bankers care about.
Valid Cayman complaints :
1. You're awfully low and visibility is only mediocre, making it a pretty bad car for traffic. It's a bit like a shark - since you only see well out the front, you need to be moving forward all the time.
2. Seats don't lean back and cabin is very small, making it a bit claustrophobic for longer trips. Even for just a nice sunday drive, you have nowhere to put your map books and snacks.
3. Engine noise and stiff ride can get annoying. Basically it's a joy when you're throttling it and not when you're just sitting in it for a long time.
If I was going to modify the Cayman, it wouldn't be more power or an LSD. I would move the engine back a tiny bit to make the cabin bigger; I would lift the roof an inch or so, shrink the rear pillars and put more glass all around. Hmmm... I think I know a car like that....
It's annoying that people buy cars for all the wrong reasons. So many Porsche buyers are doing it for looks or status. The worst are people who buy fast cars because they're the "top of the line" ; these people buy fucking 911 GT3's even though they don't track. It's because of these people that the Cayman didn't get an LSD - because if it was faster than the 911 on some tracks people would complain or buy it instead. In reality the reason to buy the 911 instead of the Cayman is not speed, but because you want a bigger more comfortable car, which is what most of the fat old bankers want.
Another example is the 911 Targa. Personally I can't buy it because it's more expensive and lower performance, and I actually like to drive fast. But for a fat banker - it's fucking fantastic. The glass roof is sublime, it means you're sitting in a big glass bubble which is my dream for all cars! Hell, the Honda Civic and every little commuter car should have a glass roof like the new Targas. I think it would make everyone better drivers because it gives you so much more spatial awareness, and also makes you feel more vulnerable.
Anyway, my practical side is having second thoughts about the whole Porsche venture. If I could find a car with the right spec locally I still might go buy it right now, but I'm losing steam with this fucking annoying search, and I really don't want to buy something on the other side of the country. And I started thinking about practical issues :
1. It is a lot of money. How much exactly? 5 year cost to own of a cheap $20k car is around $40k. 5 year cost of a Cayman is around $80k. That's $8k/year for the cheap car, $16k/year for the Cayman. Assuming about 200 driving days a year, that's $80 a day instead of $40 a day. Is the Cayman really $40 a day more fun than something like a GTI or Mazdaspeed 3 ? I dunno. I could either drive the Cayman home, or I could drive the GTI and then buy a Rainier Knizia board game. Or I could drive the GTI and buy cocktails and viagra. Or I could drive the GTI and then pay a hobo to piss on a Mercedes. Or drive the GTI and give $40 to charity. Naah. It's hard to compare the fun factor of the various choices.
(aside : it's one of the classic false economies to buy a shitty old car, or even to keep yours limping along; the actual cost per year of some shitty old car is often greater than buying and running a new cheap fuel efficient car, even though the shitty old car costs $0 and the new one might be $20k)
2. It would feel pretty ridiculous taking the 911 to Trader Joe's, or parallel parking it in the city. And I would have a heart attack every time it got dinged. I kind of like having shitty cars I don't care about too much, it removes a lot of stress. I'd like to be able to hop in and pop out to a bad neighborhood and park it anywhere and not feel scared for the car.
3. It would be nice to have something I can toss my bike in, or something I can drive to go hiking and not care about the fact that I'm getting it all dirty and banging it around in a bit of gravel, or take camping. I guess this is really the same issue as #2 which is in fact just my own self-consciousness of having a fancy car, and not an actual disadvantage.
4. The 911 actually feels pretty shitty at low speed; it feels heavy and cumbersome; it doesn't open up until 30 mph or so. In traffic gridlock maneuvers (swooping in and out of lanes) I think it would not feel good. In those situations you really want a go-cart like a Lotus, or a little hot hatch kind of thing. I dunno, maybe I would get used to it, but if you're going too slow to get the back unstuck a bit, the steering feels very sluggish.
5. Seattle is a pretty shitty place to go cruising. In California I used to go out driving all the time on the wonderful country roads, just looking for new places to see. There's really not much of that at all around here. People often think of Seattle as having lots of "nature" or "wilderness" around, but it's actually one of the most confining non-wild places I've ever lived. If you look at maps it's pretty obvious what the problem is - we're stuck on a really small patch of land here between the Sound and the mountains. Almost the entire area is now suburbanized. You go from Seattle through suburbs, and then you hit the mountains. The problem is once you hit the mountains - there are no roads. You only have the 90 and the 2, which are not terribly fun. And there's really not much wilderness either unless you get on the dirt logging roads and get back into the mountains a bit. One of my favorite things in the world is crusing around on country roads, it's the whole reason I'm thinking about getting a nice car, because I just love that feeling of swooping around a curve with scenery all around, but fuck me if there is anywhere to go around here, it fucking sucks.
6. The vast majority of my driving is just shitty commuting, not nice cruising. Mmm I dunno if this is actually an argument against. There's a huge difference between a plodding neutered commute in a boring car which makes you feel like masticated oatmeal, and a ripping commute where you slash and swerve and shit all over the plebians with your chariot of gold and feel like the master of your domain.