5/25/2009

05-25-09 - Foodies

I fucking despise Michael Pollan and all the modern "foodies". However, I am occasionally quite grateful that I can partake of the purveyance that they have made possible. For example : Trader Joe's now carries Burrata (cream filled fresh mozarella balls). It's enough to make a lactard like myself endure the searing stomach pains. Also, I get to go to this crazy Mangalitsa Pig Feast .

I feel like I should explain and justify my hate a bit more.

Why my hate for Pollan - it's mainly his delivery. Everything he says is basically true, though he does overblow things rather a bit, but it's all really fucking obvious, it's like anybody with half a fucking brain knows that already, and people without a brain aren't actually learning, they're just blindly following the new preacher instead of the old one. The thing that tilts me is his condescending fucking holier than thou smirk, you can see the look on his face like he things he's saying something so fucking clever. No you're not.

Why my hate for "foodies" - they're just another niche of yuppie bourgeosie scum. They're snobby, they focus on the brands and labels. Oh you made porchetta, was it with Mangalitsa or Kurobuta pork? Oh, you made it with that factory stuff, oh well, no thanks then. Fuck you fucking status-conscious bitches. They're frequently condescending while often being incredibly wrong because they learn from fucktards like Food Network; they'll see things like "oh you bought fat asparagus, I only buy the thin stuff" well fuck you fucking condescending dicktard the fat stuff is the good stuff when it's the first spring growth. They're gossips and trend followers; they read the blogs and are always cooking things in the new "right way" to do things. They don't have real love for the ingredients and the history and the flavors and the technique. They spend a fortune on fancy cookware and knives but don't know how to julienne or rock the blade.

In the end the reason why I hate foodies so much is that they're so close to something that I love so dearly, and yet they spoil everything good about it. And they sometimes make food that's better than mine and that really does it.

1 comment:

Autodidactic Asphyxiation said...

"And they sometimes make food that's better than mine and that really does it."

LOL!

old rants