4/22/2009

04-22-09 - Spam

WTF gmail, why do you keep letting obvious nonsense through?

I literally get around 10 mails like this a day :


From: Susan Brown <susannjtnpocs@hotmail.com> 

Subject: Authentic discounted prescriptions from Canada. 

Fast delivery and qualitative support- come and see yourself.

www.sentencefallcold.in

How can you not tell that's spam !?

On the plus side, today it delivered one of the more amusing spams I've ever gotten :

I want you to read this message very carefully, and keep the secret with you till further notice, You have no need of knowing who I am, where am from, till I make out a space for us to see, I have being paid me $15000 in advance to terminate you with some reasons listed to me by my employer, it's one I believe you call a friend, I have followed you closely for one week and three days now and have seen that you are innocent of the accusation.

Do not contact the police or security agent or try to send a copy of this to them, because if you do I will know, and might be pushed to do what I have being paid to do,,beside, this is the first time I turned out to be a betrayer in my job. Now, listen, I will arrange for us to see face to face but before that you have to pay me some $20,000. I will be coming to see you in your office or home determine where you wish we meet, do not set any camera to cover us or set up any tape to record our conversation, my employer is in my control now, I will give you the full information of my employer and video and audio tape conversation with him that contains his request for me to terminate you, which will be enough evidence for you to take him to court (if you wish to).

You don’t need my phone contact for now till am assured you are ready to comply positively. Once more I shall remain anonymous, however, you have no alternatives other than to co-operate positively and do as I said or face the brewing storm. You must also trust that as long as you keep your part of the deal, I shall too keep mine and live up to my words. This time I am holding the trump card and shall put it to effective use if you fail to co-operate positively as requested. Any move by you other than co-operation will have catastrophic consequences to you. I wait for your response urgently to settle this and counter my employer directives against you immediately.

Thanks you for your attention Cross

I love the writing style. It's got that high-school-kid-trying-to-sound smart ring to it. "do as I said or face the brewing storm" - how precious! It reminds me a bit of VCB. "They sat in the cafe and discussed art and romance." Oh yes. I am such a passionate latin lover, I can't be bothered to button my shirt properly, and I love to listen to Spanish guitar and discuss romance.

2 comments:

dfan said...

That's weird. I use gmail and in a typical month maybe 2 bad messages get through the spam filter and 10 real ones get misclassified as spam.

cbloom said...

Maybe the problem is that I actually do buy a lot of cialis, so gmail is doing a custom filter for me that lets those mails through. I like to pop one every day so that I can walk around with chubbie. It gives me a feeling of manly virility, and I can befuddle my corporate enemies with my inappropriate bulge.

old rants