04-17-09 - Bleck

We've seen some really awful movies recently.

"The Queen" : wow, WTF is the point of this movie. It's hard to imagine anything less interesting than the royal family, and despite what all the critics say, the portrait of them was completely stereotypical and superficial. In no way was it interesting or realistic or surprising. Plus like 50% of the time is spent on stock footage of the whole Diana death bullshit.

"Vicky Christina Barcelona" : another wowie zowie this was shockingly bad. People talk about this movie and "Match Point" as the reemergence of Woody Allen after a period of making predictable snoozers. Yes his 90's movies were pretty weak, but these are even worse. VCB is literally laugh-out-loud awful. I'm actually a little perplexed by it. I'm not quite sure if the whole movie is supposed to be a "level". The voice over for example is intentionally bad, right? I mean that voice over can't be serious, it's super cheezy bad like a romance novel or a Penthouse Forum letter, I assume/hope that's on purpose. I guess that all the critics that liked this movie are just horny sexually repressed nerds that were aroused by all the hints of sexuality.

I guess I'll go back to watching endless old Top Gear episodes.

The new High Stakes Poker cast is disappointing too. Hachem, Laak and Esfandiari are some of the biggest cocks in poker. They're all cry-baby attention whores with no real game skill or interesting personality. Laak might be the worst; he's a huge nit and just generally sucks; he normally plays $10/20 NL live and just bum-hunts. Last episode he made one of the most retarded plays in poker - raising to "defend" a weak hand. It's a play that tilts me so bad, because dumb "pros" like Laak or Gabe Kaplan will recommend it, and it usually works so they think they did the right thing. Basically if you flop a hand that is decent and probably best, but is not strong, you should almost never be raising with that. Like say you flop a weak middle pair or something like that. You just call, you don't raise. (obviously there are exceptions, everything in poker is situational, there are no formulas or set "moves").


Thatcher Ulrich said...

I agree VCB was total shit. Also I didn't think Cassandra's Dream was very good. I did like Match Point a lot though.

One thing I admire about Woody Allen is that he makes a movie every year, year in and year out. If he makes a stinker, well, there's always next year.

Nino Mojo said...

I totally agree about VCB. I hate the way he skips good character exposition by just having that narrator telling you everything.

old rants