2/06/2009

02-06-09 - Upsells

Formulaic chain restaurants disgust me. Part of the reasons are all the canned lines that the servers are required to say. I don't blame them, I know they're required to say that shit, but it's annoying. The upsells are particularly disgusting - would you like fries with that? can I get you started with an appetizer? we have a really nice drink special... fuck you. The worst thing about it is I know it *works*. Humans are such weak fucking impressionable spineless scum that we just go along with whatever option is easiest to us. When the waitress says "would you like to upgrade that margarita to a cadillac?" we just say "um, okay" because it's the response of least resistance.

Sometimes I steel myself to not go along with what they offer. But that's not really any better, then I'm just reflexively refusing to go along. I'm still not actually considering the situation on its own merits and making a decision.

Something I've been thinking about recently is the retarded *constancy* of humans. We have an amazing ability to react in the same way regardless of our situation. People will complain about things the same amount regardless of what's going on around them; if they're big complainers they will find something no matter how perfect their lives, and if they aren't, they will shrug off the most ridiculous problems. I heard Sartain talking about how moms these days are freaked out about the possibility of peanut butter contaminating their children, and how that never used to be a problem. To me this is not an issue of people being more overbearing now than they used to be, it's just that moms will always worry exactly the same amount no matter what. In the olden days moms had real issues to worry about, like wolves eating their children, or starvation, or nuclear bombs; now all the real worries are gone, but they're retarded humans who don't respond to their situation, so they keep worring exactly the same mount, and hence they worry about things like toxic immunizations and cell phone radio waves and peanut butter poisoning. This is the same reason why people don't get happier when they have more money. Of course life is *way* *way* better when you have more money, unfortunately you are a retarded fucking broken human being and you will be unhappy no matter what, you don't actually respond to the situation around you in any significant way.

3 comments:

AK said...

How about some Zoloft-infused peanut butter?

Wouter said...

I've noticed this "constancy" problem even in myself. The better life gets for me, the more of a problem I make out of the chores in life, and the less I enjoy what should be fantastic, hence keeping the level of happyness constant.

I am not sure if I can fix my "constancy", but there is an alternative solution: make life artificially harder for yourself (mostly by setting yourself really tough goals and such). You will enjoy the good stuff even more this way, and usually whatever you're being tough on has additional side benefits.

cbloom said...

Yeah, I guess we sort of subconsciously or consciously take steps to fight this. Like we go camping or put ourselves through hard physical trials to reset what we consider "normal", so that we appreciate our cushy lives again.

The sad thing is that affect is very brief. Like the first shower feels amazing, and sleeping in your own bed again is a wonderful treat, but in a few days it's back to normal.

old rants