09-24-08 - 2

Fucking upstairs neighbor woke up at 6 and clomped around in the bedroom over my head. I lay in bed clutching the pillow over my ears, dreaming of beating the bloody shit out of him (literally), imagining the pleasant weight of a hammer as I swung it and cracked his skull, I pictured lurking in the stairwell waiting for him to come down and jumping out and pushing him down the stairs. I haven't slept well in days and it's making me depressed. I have no energy, a mild headache, and a sour demeanor. Some days it feels like all I do is fucking drive back and forth to work. I hate all this rushing. I cram breakfast down my throat at 10 AM when I realize I've been working all morning and haven't eaten yet and I need to get to work. At night I get home at 9 and realize I'm starving because I skipped lunch and have to just cram dinner down my throat. I like to take my meals slow, cook, enjoy it. Eating lunch feels like such a huge waste of time, I feel like I have no hours to work if I take a lunch break.

The commute here is really awful. It's almost impossible to avoid traffic. It's trafficy in the morning from about 7 AM to 10 AM. In the evening it's trafficy from 3 PM to 8 PM. The really frustrating thing to me is that it's such a short distance, and there really aren't that many cars on the road. The traffic is 90% just because these people are all fucking retards. They see a car half a mile ahead touch the brakes, so they slam on the brakes, and then everyone behind them slams on the brakes and we get a huge lockup. I hate to be that California guy who's always talking about how it's so much better there, but my god the drivers here are so much worse. Every single merge is a clusterfuck. The people merging don't get up to speed, the people being merged into don't change lanes, and they try to be "courteous" by slamming on the brakes to let the damn slow merger in.

Fuck, this rant tires and bores me.

I'm sick of my energy and vitality being drained by people who are just fucking bores or assholes or morons. I don't want to deal with any of you. I can't teach you, I can't improve you, you fucking suck, get away from me and stop dragging me down. I want a cabin in the woods. Perhaps a yurt on a mining claim. I'll run naked in the grass, feel the sun on my skin, jump in the freezing water, slink through the forest, speak with the deer, and be happy.

The drivers here are like holier-than-thou know-it-all sort of nosey minister's wife think they know best, but also retarded. You get a lot of scenes like when two people pull up to a stop sign and they both sit there and wave for each other to go. That is not courtesy, that's just retarded. And in fact its very discourteous to the people behind you. Somebody just fucking go!

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old rants