03-19-08 - 2

I've been thinking a lot about Danielle and Tiffiny lately. I try to keep them out of my head to move on, but that's not really possible. I'm trying to make myself more emotionally open and honest, and that's not something you can do selectively, when you open the gates everything comes through. I just learned this word saudade which is pretty much what I feel for them. It's something I'm okay with. I don't think about them constantly and it's not holding me back in any way, it's just a slight sadness that's always present in my mind which I greet and acknowledge and choose not to pay too much attention to.

I wish I had more pictures from my past. I've never been good at taking pictures, it just seems like a pointless nuisance at the time, but after the fact I wish I had them. At the time I think "I'll never forget this, it will be in my memory forever" but in fact the memory fades and becomes only an outline - or a memory of when I could remember it.

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