4/24/2005

4-24-05 - 2

4-24-05

One package of Trader Joe's chocolate peanut clusters is roughly 1600 calories. What does it feel like to eat them all in 15 minutes? First comes a giddy euphoria; you feel the chocolate break up in your mouth, the crunch of the peanuts, the sugar and fat tickle your brain and give you explosions of endorphin happiness. Next comes a delightful feeling of naughty indiscretion - my god, I can eat a lot of these and no one can tell me to stop. Then you start to feel the high slipping away, and you eat another to get back to normal, but it doesn't really give you the buzz like the first; the chocolate tastes kind of waxy and cheap now. Next you start to feel gross and disgusted by yourself; my god, what am I doing? I should stop, but I can't, I'm so weak? Then you start to feel a little bit good about wallowing in your depravity, like a naked fat man covered in melted cheese rolling around with hookers, you feel so indulgent, disgusting, ashamed. Now there's only a few left, and you may as well finish them; you've got a nasty stomache ache and a sort of dry buzzing in your brain.

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